Everyone has a Breaking Point
by hayyleeredding
Summary: Olivia comes to realize how strong her love is for her partner Elliot but will a child come between them or bring them closer? Will their job come between them? How long can they really stay together before thy reach their breaking point? (If you cant tell this is E/O) Comments are appreciated; Happy reading
1. Chapter 1

{Olivia's POV} {Present day}

The cold winds of the New York winter whipped across my cheeks. "Please Richard put the gun down" I asked the man that stood just inches away from me with a gun to a young girls head. "You don't wanna help her, you just wanna cover the agencies ass. They'll look bad if you don't save her" he said as the girl silently sobbed. "Richard you know that's not true now just please give me the girl" I asked. Where in the hell was Elliot. Richard pointed the gun at me. I took a cautious step back. "You don't care about her" he yelled repeatedly. "Richard you know I do" I said trying to calm him. "Don't bullshit me, it doesn't work" he yelled. He took swift steps towards me. "Richard stop" I yelled.

He didn't. He just kept coming. I couldn't shoot him. I just couldn't. I swung the butt of my baby glock at his face hoping only to disorientate him. He stumbled a bit then looked up at me angrier than before. He tackled me to the ground, his hot body pinning mine. "Why would you lie" he asked. That's when the pressure on my shoulders and torso were relieved. I swung my head to the side and saw Elliot struggling to sustain Richard.

I pulled my handcuffs out and clasped them hard on Richards's wrists. I looked over at the young girl. I saw fear in her eyes. It was a recognizable fear that once inhabited my eyes. I saw a young me. I walked over and wrapped my arms around her bare shoulders. "Hello I'm detective Olivia Benson" I said. I noticed the dewy sweat that lined her eyebrows and the way she flinched when I roughed her "I'm here to help you" I said slowly "what's your name" I asked.

"Shannon Bilingsly" she said tucking a stray patch of matted red hair behind her ear. What was left of her night gown was not keeping her warm. I slid off my jacket and draped it over her shoulders. "Well Shannon my partner and I will take you to the hospital. We'll call your parents and it'll all be better. I promise." I said calming her.

I walked her to the squad car. She shivered in my hands the entire time but I know it wasn't from the harsh winter. She tried to give me back my jacket but I told her to keep it. She needed it more than I did. This was something that would take time to heal. The police had showed up a few moments ago and Elliot had put Richard in the car and was sending him to our office. "Hey Liv" Elliot yelled as he walked towards me "Liv you could have died why didn't you call me sooner" he questioned as I put the shivering Shannon in the back of the car and shut the door. "Elliot" I scolded "not in front of Shannon". Elliot's face softened as realized what he said and he slumped over to the passenger's seat.

The drive to the hospital was silent except for the occasional whimper that would escape Shannon while she struggled to sob silently and the kick up of the slushy snow against the undercarriage of the squad car. I pulled into the hospital and the back end of the car slid a bit. We were greeted by an anxious father in the waiting room. I turned to Shannon who was still a bit shaken. "Shannon you don't have to do the rape kit, we have Richard Dean in custody and have video of the rape. He can't hurt you anymore Shannon" I reassured her. She looked at me those big blue eyes that brought back memories. She wrapped her arms around my neck. "Thank you Olivia" she said softly in my ear. "You're welcome" I said embracing the hug.

We left the hospital and Elliot insisted on driving. "Liv" he said breaking the silence "you need sleep your practically nodding off in your seat". He was right. I was going to hit the crib and be out like a light. I guess I did fall asleep in the car because I woke up to Elliot carrying me like a baby in to the office. I picked up my head for a second only to see his face then let my head fall back on his broad shoulder.

I felt his heart beat against my arm. His breath smelt of coffee and cheese Danish. He laid me down on a bunk in the crib. I felt his callused thumb run across my forehead. "Good night" he said leaning in. He hesitated with his lips hovering above my forehead for a moment and the air became stale as if time had frozen. He stood back up after his lips never touched me and solemnly climbed into the bunk next to me.

{Elliot's POV} {Present day}

I stared at the bars on the bed above me. Laying Olivia down like that was hard because I wanted to hold her. Just having her I'm my arms made her falling asleep in the car so much more worth it. Was she awake when I laid her down? Did she know I was going to kiss her? Hopefully if she was would forget it.

I wanted Olivia. Not for the reason most people think but for her crazy love. I wanted her for that silly laugh she has when I make jokes during interrogation. I wanted her for that giant smile of hers. For the way she runs her fingers through her hair when she was stressed. I wanted to be the only man in her life. I just wanted Olivia for all her little things.

I rolled over out of bed and went into the break room to get some coffee. The sink started and I spun around my heart jumping out of my chest. It was just Alex. "Oh my lord" I said. "I saw you carrying Liv in" she said giving me a smirk side look "is she okay". "Yeah she's fine just exhausted. She's asleep in the crib if you go in there" I said warning her.

"No I'm not" I heard a voice come from the door way. It was Olivia. She poured herself a cup of coffee and left it black as night. "El come with me" she said as she walked out the door motioning with her fingers for me to follow her. I looked at Alex and half shrugged as I followed Olivia. I went into the crib and she was sitting on a bed with the coffee at her lips but she was not drinking. She was staring blankly at the wall. She put the coffee mug on the floor. "I know what you were going to do earlier" she said.

My stomach flipped a million times and my head felt light. "Liv I'm sorry I- I didn't mean to I just I tried to stop myse-" she stood up and took my hands. "El its fine" she said putting her head on my chest. "Lay with me" she half asked half demanded. And that's exactly what we did. We just laid.

{Olivia's POV} {Present day}

I woke up to a single beam of light falling on my eyes and burning them. I groggily rolled over and shuffled my way to the break room to pour myself some coffee. Alex was rinsing a mug in the sink. "So how did you sleep" she asked with a creepy smile. "Um fine" I said pouring my coffee and grabbing a doughnut from a box. "You left your coffee black" she said. "As black as my soul" I said laughing and heading to my desk. Right as I sat down a Manila envelope was slapped onto my desk.

I looked up. Captain was standing readily by my desk. "I need theses filed by five" he said before he swiveled on his heels and walked away. I let my head fall in my hands. "You okay Liv" I heard someone ask. I slowly brought my head up. "Yeah" I said locking eyes with El. "Hey we got a new case; it's the Stevenson case on apartment 195 17th street" Finn announced. I spun around and pulled on my vest and grabbed my gun.

Elliot put his hand on my shoulder. "You sure you're okay to go" he asked with a very concerned face. "Yeah El I can handle myself" I said pushing past him and running out to the squad car. I went to open the driver's door when Elliot grabbed my wrist. "No Liv I'm driving" he said. I didn't protest just to please him. We got in the car and sped to 17th street. When we pulled up the door was sitting wide open. Elliot took the lead even though it was out of formation and we swiftly made our way up the steps. The apartment was dark and the air was musky. We reached the door. "NYPD open up" I yelled.

No response. The air was frozen. I lifted my foot and kicked the door. I did the same again and it didn't budge. Elliot backed me away and rammed it with his shoulder and it flew open. "One more kick and I would have had it" I said running in. A man yanked me around by the neck. "One more step and I shoot her" he yelled to Elliot. Elliot froze. "Put the gun down" the man commanded. Elliot stayed still with his gun in the air.

"Put the gun down" he yelled pushing the gun on my temple. I felt droplets of spit land on my neck. Elliot lowered to a crouch and put the gun on the ground. "Okay I'm putting the gun down. Let the woman go." Elliot said calmly. I surveyed the room. Tables were flipped over and empty pots were thrown around the room. I saw a foot in the corner behind a door. I locked eyes with Elliot and made him follow mine to the foot. "What are you looking at" the man asked.

"I noticed you had a picture of your family" Elliot said walking over to the table and picking up the picture frame. "It's a nice family. Young son and daughter, kinda look like twins, and a very beautiful wife" Elliot said. The man's grip loosened a little bit. "Yeah that was us in Cancoon a few summers ago" he said. "You know I and my wife had five kids" Elliot said "and I would have done anything in the world for my kids; is that what this is about? Is it about your kids" Elliot asked putting the picture back in its place.

The man released his grip on me. "Yes" he said letting the gun fall to the ground. "What's your name" Elliot asked. "Jacob Camber" he said. I walked behind him and pushed him up against the wall.

"Well Jacob you're under arrest for assaulting an officer and resisting an officer you have the right to an attorney and anything you say can and will be used against you in the court of law" I said.

Elliot pushed open the door and the man's daughter collapsed from her resting place on to the floor. "And much more" I said leading him out the door to the cops. "Aye Finn help me get this girl out to the ambulance she still has a pulse" I heard Elliot yell.

{Olivia's POV} {Present day}

"Why daddy" echoed down the halls as a young girl asked her dad. I charged as quietly as I could down the hall. Smack. It shattered the air. "NYPD drop your weapons" I yelled as I rounded the corner. I dropped my gun.

It was me. Sitting on the floor. My father above me. My tattered pajamas stuck to my skin by sweat. My face bloody and my body was bruised. They didn't stop. It was like I was a shadow. I just didn't exist. It just kept going. Smack after smack after smack. "What did I do daddy" the young me asked.

"What did you do?" He asked her in rage "what did you do, you ruined my life" he said sinking to the ground against a wall while running a gun across his face. "I'm sorry daddy" I pleaded. "I love you" I said crawling over to him.

"Get away" I screamed to the young me. I heard a faint beeping and Elliot yelling my name. The beeping got louder. I ran at the man and tried so hard to beat him off of her and ward her away but I couldn't do it. My punches didn't faze him. The beeping was louder.

I woke up.

I heard Elliot yelling. "We need a nurse" he yelled as my eyes and ears slowly adjusted. The beeping was as intense as ever. My vision was spotty and my hearing went in and out. "Liv, Liv stay with my Liv" I heard Elliot say as he cried. He grabbed my hand. The nurses and a doctor ran in.

"Her heart rates to high" a nurse yelled. "She's having heart palpitations. She has one hundred twenty beats a minute. It's extra systole" another yelled. "Okay give her two hundred milliliters of Delodin and call Dr. Aaron in cardiology for an echocardiogram" the doctor ordered. "Sir I'm sorry but I'm going to have to ask you to leave" I heard him say. "No I'm not leaving Liv" I heard Elliot yell.

His hand was ripped away as they wheeled me down the hall. We got half way down and my chest started to tighten and I couldn't breathe. "She's going into cardiac arrest. Nurse on the bed and supply oxygen" the doctor ordered. I felt like my chest was being driven on top of. They pushed me in the room and checked my ears for earrings and my stomach for a bellybutton ring and shoved me in the machine.

I looked to the side and saw Elliot on the other side of the glass. He had his hands pressed to the window and he was looking down at the ground. He was the only one here for me. The only one. "Olivia we need you to rest your head" a voice said over and intercom. I heard a loud buzzing noise. I let my head fall to the pillow.

When it was over they pulled me out and let me sit up. I looked back at Elliot and the doctor was talking to him. He threw his hands up in the air and yelled something that was muffled by the walls. He walked in. "Liv are you okay" he asked panicked "how do you feel". I looked up at his big brown eyes. He rubbed his thumb across my forehead.

"I'm okay" I said quietly with all my strength "I told you I could handle myself" I said smiling. A single tear fell off his cheek and landed on my hand. I grabbed his hand. "I'll be out soon" I said. "And I'll be here with you until you do leave" he said. They took me back to my room and Elliot held my hand the entire way there.

When we got there he sat back down in the same seat he slept in last night. His hand was still interlocked in mine and we sat there and watched Jeopardy till the morning. I wasn't falling asleep anytime soon.

{Olivia's POV} {Two weeks later}

The rain on the windshield changed color as all the different cars passed. Elliot and I finally got to go home and we started work again tomorrow. I knew going back to work at the same time as Elliot would raise suspicion on Alex, Casey, and Nick's part. Finn knew, maybe he told them. I mean we left together and came back together.

But we were at a hospital it's not like we were off in Peru together even though that sounds nice. Elliot had spent countless hours with me at the hospital, mainly just sitting and talking, and he got some stuff out of me that I hadn't told anyone about.

Some of the stuff I didn't even know I remembered. I looked over at Elliot. His eyes were heavy with worry and sleep. He didn't look like Elliot. He looked like a ghost of himself. He pulled over at his apartment.

"You not taking me home" I asked. "No I'm not letting you be alone again" he said getting out and walk to my side of the car to open the door for me. He took me by my hand and we slowly made our way the steps.

"I'll put your stuff in my room" he said once we got inside "you can have my bed I'll bunk on the couch". "No El I couldn't do that" I protested. "Yes you can and you will" he said before flashing that smile of his and dropping my bags off in his room. "El you can just take me home and I'll call you if I need you" I said.

I wasn't having him sleep on the couch. "No Liv your gonna sleep in here and I'll sleep on the couch" he said not taking no for an answer. "At least let me make you dinner" I said finally giving in. "Thank you Liv but no" he said walking out. I changed into some comfier cloths and went out. Elliot was standing over the stove with a spoon in his hand. "Really El you don't have to do all this" I said.

"Listen Liv it's just for tonight. I can't have you alone on your first night back and plus I want you here" he said before walking over and tapping my chin. He knew I hated that but I shrugged it off.

"So what are you making" I asked. "Chicken Florentine, mother's recipe" he said. I looked down at the trash. "Is your mom's name Bernoulli" I asked picking up the food bag. "You're too good at your job" he said "Okay so maybe my mom's name is Linda and she didn't cook a day in her life but its close enough". We both busted out laughing.

We sat down to eat when I noticed a picture of Elliot and all his kids. I wonder how I would be as a mom. No! I couldn't think that way. I mean it wasn't getting that serious and I didn't want it to. I loved Elliot but as a partner. I put down the picture. "El do you remember when I said I'd give you a kidney" I asked. "Yeah why" he asked as he scooped the Florentine into the bowls. "It still counts" I said slowly pinching his ear. I know he hated that. He turned around so we were face to face. He grabbed my face and kissed me.

Our lips locked in an unexplained chaos that created a spark that ignited something deep inside. I felt his body quake against mine. The pain that once shattered through my body was vaguely there. Our bodies stayed locked together like magnets as we fell to the couch. I sat on top of him as he kissed me.

I tried to pull apart but the urge was too strong. He put his hands on the small of my back. He slowly ran it up my back and pulled me in. We were so close already but then we got closer which I didn't think was physically possible. He unlocked from my lips and kissed my jaw bone down to my neck and then to my collar bones. I put my hands on his chest and sat up. "Elliot I can't do this" I said. I got off of a confused Elliot and fixed my cloths while walking into the dining room. I heard him get up. "Liv I'm sorry" he said walking in. "El" I said grabbing his hands "its okay I just need time". He looked at me with soft blue eyes. "I know Liv" he said running his thumb across my forehead.

"Let's eat" I said sitting down on the hard wooden chair. El walked into the kitchen, returning with two bowls, but he didn't sit down. He opened a small pantry and pulled out a bottle of wine and two glasses. He poured me some before sitting down. "Let's raise our glasses and toast to health and partners" he said while tapping the glass with his fork. He was such a dork. We tapped glasses and sipped. We both started eating and I was intently studying the plate pattern when I realized Elliot was talking to me. I was looking at him talking but I wasn't processing what he was saying. "I'm sorry what Elliot" I said when I saw his lips stop moving. "I was saying there's a really good coffee place down the street and we should go in the morning on our way to work, are you okay Liv" he asked. "Uh yeah just really tired" I lied. I wasn't tired at all. I was thinking.

Thinking about Elliot and the kiss and how in the moment I knew we were perfection. I just couldn't bring myself to be with him like that. "You can go to bed and I'll clean up" Elliot said standing up. "Okay" I said "but I'm not letting you sleep on the couch". Elliot looked down at me. "I thought we were done talking about that" he said. "No you're sleeping in your bed" I said. "Where are you going to sleep then" Elliot asked. "In your bed" I said getting up and walking to the bed. I looked back right before I went in his room and he had a cocked eye brow and confused face. "Okay fine by me" he said shrugging his shoulders. I sat down on the bed. I had to take a shower. The only thing hospital soap is good for is drying out your skin.

I grabbed what looked like a clean towel on the top of a laundry basket. I got in and turned the water so hot the room was automatically filled with steam and my skin burned. I love hot showers like this. I heard the door creek open. "Liv I'm going to run out and pick up some stuff I'll be back in a bit" Elliot yelled in. "Okay" I said. I could take my time in the shower.

I let the water wash over me and rinse away the past few days. It felt amazing.

{Elliot's POV} {Present day}

By the time I got back Liv was passed out in the bed. She was so peaceful. She had helped herself to one of my giant tee shirts and she looked like she was swimming in it. I put the milk and eggs that I bought in the fridge and crawled into bed. Liv stirred a little and rolled over to face me.

Her face was relaxed and a few locks of her hair fell in her face. I brushed some out of her eyes. I never imagined I'd be lying in the same bed as my partner, well accept for when Dani was my partner, but she was easy. Olivia was different. She made me work to be closer to her. She knew I loved her and she toyed with me. She was crazy and so was her love. She'd told me countless times she was married to her work but in my mind that only meant her and I had been dating for twelve years, I mean I am part of her work.

But that's was a dumb thought. Olivia saw me as detective Elliot Stabler who she would take a bullet for and confide in and that would always be it. I wanted more but I couldn't push her to feel that way. That would only make her distance herself. It would just take time. I looked up.

She opened her eyes a bit then scooted towards me and nuzzled her face in my chest while wrapping her arms around me. Not as long as I had thought. I put my arms around her and slowly drifted off to sleep.

{In the morning}

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

The alarm shattered the air. I rolled over and looked at the bright blue numbers that pierced my eyes. It was five. We had to get up. I rolled back over after silencing the alarms screams. "Liv we gotta get up" I said lightly running my thumb across her forehead. "Okay okay I'm up. Leave the room so I can get dressed" she said sitting up abruptly and grabbing her bag. "Okay" I said grabbing some pants and a shirt out of my closet. I turned around to leave and Liv was pulling off her shirt.

"Whoa Liv just hold up a second we have an hour" I said covering my eyes with my shirt. "Come on El it's not like you've never seen a woman I mean you have five kids" she shouted. "Okay I mean if you're okay with it" I said putting down the shirt just as she pulled a V-neck sweater over her head. "Okay listen you cannot see me like this so out" she said pushing me out the door. "Okay okay I'm going" I said walking out the door.

A few minutes later she came sprinting out of the room while pulling her hair up. "Let's roll" she said. "Hey wait jacket. It's pouring" I said while handing her the jacket she had flung on a chair in the living room when we first got here. She was excited to go back to work. She hopped in the passenger's seat of my squad car and was almost bouncing up and down. "So what's this coffee place called" she asked after calming down a little. She brushed the water off her face and bangs. "Um it's a place my friend owns called Coffee Palace" I said.

The rain ripped off the car with the wind. "Who" she asked after a minute. "Just an uh old friend of mine" I said. I couldn't tell her it was my uncle. She'd ask how I knew him and there'd be some major back story I didn't want to explain. We pulled up to the curb and parked. I looked over at Olivia. "Ready" I asked. "Ready" Olivia said cutting her eyes and opening the door. We bolted in. I flipped off my hood and looked up. "Look at little El all grown up" my uncle shouted as we walked in. Olivia looked over at me with a raised eyebrow. "Little El" she said smirking. "And who's your gorgeous date" my uncle asked. Oh God. "Oh thank you. Hello my name is Olivia Benson I'm Elliot's partner" Olivia said extending her hand. "Wow she's really proper. She doesn't even say girlfriend" my uncle said shaking her hand.

"Oh no not that kind of partner, I'm his partner at work" she said blushing. "Oh I'm sorry, and I never introduced myself. I'm Elliot's uncle David" my uncle said releasing Olivia's hand. "Uncle?" Olivia questioned. She turned to me. "I though you said it was just a friend" Olivia asked me. "Yeah well I didn't want you to uh freak that I had any family I knew" I explained. She looked at me quizzically.

"Well we just need some coffee and to hit the road" I said turning to my uncle. "Sure anything for little El and his partner. What kind of coffee would you like" he asked. "Um I'll take Peruvian with light half and half and she'll have Colombian straight" I said answering for Olivia. "Ahh you see that Olivia. A man who knows your coffee type is a keeper" my uncle said as he made our coffees. "Oh I see" Olivia said turning to me "maybe he is" she said as she took our coffee. She pulled out a ten and put it on the counter. "Oh no I wouldn't ask little El or any of his friends to pay. It's on the house" my uncle said pushing the dollar back to her.

"Oh well thank you" Liv said taking the dollar and jamming it back in her pocket. "We better go" I said. We turned to walk back into the pouring sheets of rain. "You guys come back any time" my uncle called after us. "Thanks uncle D" I called back before walking out. The rain pounded on my hood as I ran to the car to open the door for Liv. She jumped in and I ran around. We'd be late for work if I didn't step on it and Captain would chew me out. I got in and the steam of the coffee had already made the car fog up. Olivia carefully sipped her scorching hot coffee as we pulled in.

We walked in and the first voice I heard was Casey's. "El, Liv" she yelled. Everyone stopped and looked up. "Hey it's Benson and Stabler" Captain yelled. Everyone gathered around the door. "Hey hey everybody can we all say our hellos at Liv's desk. She needs to sit" I said parting the way for Liv to walk. We walked over and I helped her slowly sit. "I shouldn't have run earlier" she said sitting down a bit winded. "Is your chest tight" I asked squatting down in front of her and resting my hands on her thighs.

"No no I'm good just need to sit" she said resting her hands on mine. I picked up her coffee off the floor and set it on the desk. She grabbed it and shakily sipped. "Okay I understand. Here take my hand and I'll walk you to the crib" I said helping her stand up. I walked her slowly to the crib and laid her down. "El, stay with me, I know Cap won't send us out so just stay with me" she said grabbing my hand. "Okay okay I'll stay" I said. Olivia sat up and I sat behind her. She laid back and rested her head on my chest and shut her eyes. I started to stroke her hair until I heard her quietly snoring and felt her chest purr as she did. The steady rise and fall slowly lulled me to sleep so I wrapped my arms around her and drifted.

{Olivia's POV} {Present day}

I woke up. I couldn't move. Elliot's arms were wrapped around me and he was asleep. I stopped and looked at his tattoo. I traced it with my finger till he stirred. "El hey El" I said moving his arms from around me. "Hey Liv are you okay" he said sitting up and smiling. "Yeah yeah I'm fine but it's" I clicked my phone screen on "two in the morning" I said getting up. I picked up my bag and then my knees felt weak. "El I um need to get home and take an uh shower and stuff" I said leaning against the wall.

"I'll drive you home" he said pulling on his jacket and taking my hand. "Lean against me until you feel stable" he said putting his arm around me. "Oh okay" I said leaning in him. He carefully led me out crib and to his squad car. "Hey hey sit carefully" Elliot said putting his hand above my head so I wouldn't hit it. "El I'm fine" I said sitting down. He walked around and sat in his car. "Liv did you want me to stay tonight" he asked. "Um no you can go home" I said resting my head on the cold window.

"Liv are you sure you're okay" he asked putting his hand on my shoulder. "Yeah I'm sure. Just need a shower and stuff" I said shrugging his concern off. He pulled out. The cold February had stripped the leaves off the trees and they flung up around the squad car and danced in the upward twirling air like tiny tornados on the road. I looked over at Elliot who had his eyes glued to the road. He pulled over to the curb in front of my apartment.

"Liv are you sure you're okay to be by yourself" he asked putting his hand on my shoulder and giving me big doe eyes. "Yeah I'm sure could you just help me in" I asked opening the door and letting the winter chill in. "Yes of course" he said hopping up to help me like he always does. We got to the top of the steps and I turned to face Elliot. "Thanks El" I said giving him a surprise hug that lasted what felt like an amazing forever.

His dewy cheek was pressed to mine and we just sat there and held each other and swayed a little. I pulled away and looked him in the eyes. "Good night El" I said. "Good night" he said running his thumb across my forehead. He held my hand till we couldn't anymore as he walked away. I went inside and took a hot shower before passing out on my couch. My eyes felt heavy.

{Elliot's POV} {Present day}

I walked into Coffee Palace. "Hey uncle D" I said as I walked up to the counter. "Hey lil El. Where's your girlfriend, I mean uh partner" my uncle asked cocking a wiry eyebrow. "She's probably already at work. I took her home last night" I explained. "From what a date" he asked laughing. "No actually she fell asleep in my arms at work and wanted to go home" I said taking my coffee.

"Hey wait" he said putting another cup of coffee on the counter "take this for her. It's on the house" he said flashing a smile. "Thanks. I'll tell her you sent it" I said leaving. I got in the car and drove to work watching everyone shuffle on the sidewalks to their jobs. I slammed on my breaks almost passing the parking lot.

My coffee splashed foreword onto my radio but Liv's stayed put. I wiped it off and bounded up the front steps. I ran to Liv's desk to drop off her coffee before it got cold but her desk was empty. I went to Caps office. "Hey Cap where Liv is" I asked almost out of breath. "She's not in yet" he asked. "Oh God" I said under my breath. "Okay you go check her house I'll call her cell maybe she's just sick and didn't call in" he said. That's the last I heard as I ran out the door.

I skidded to a stop in front of her house and sprinted up the steps. I hit the doorbell a few times with my fist before remembering I had her spare key in case she ever lost hers. I pulled out my key and unlocked the door as quick as I could. I ran up the steps and banged on her door. "Liv, Liv" I yelled while I continued to pound. She didn't answer. I pulled out my keys again. I couldn't let her sit in there any longer if she was hurt. "Liv" I yelled drawing my gun as I ran in.

I made my way into her living room and I saw her hand dangling off the end of the couch. "Olivia are you okay" I said running to her. She sat up groggily. "Yeah I'm fine what time it is" she asked letting her head roll. "Dammit Liv it's seven. You drove me and Captain on a wild goose chase" I said throwing my hands up in the air.

"I-I'm sorry I didn't hear my phone and I didn't set my alarm lets uh go" she said rambling and grabbing her stuff. "Liv I think you should take another day off" I said grabbing her arm. "Get off me. No I'm going to work and you're driving me" she said jerking her arm away and continuing to walk out the door.

I got in the car. She was staring straight forward. "Are you going to drive or what" she asked harshly. "Or what Olivia. I don't think you're in any condition to work" I advised. "That's not an opinion for you to have. Captain cleared me. Now drive" she commanded. "Captain cleared you for desk work okay" I shouted. "Hey just let me remind you that you came back to on field duty after you got shot on that case with the monkey and all that happened with me was a little slap around with some men. Now please just drive" she pleaded. Her eyes were foggy and masked with despair. I wasn't make up for this one tonight.

"Okay okay let's just go" I said stepping on the gas. Olivia didn't take her eyes off the road.

{Olivia's POV} {Present day}

I can't believe him. I stood up for him when Cap told him he had a week's leave when he was shot and was told he had a week leave, I cannot believe him. I sat and stared at the trees that flew by like blurs. Elliot put his hand on my shoulder and I flinched. Visions of prison flashed though my head. "Are you okay Liv" Elliot asked softly. "How many times are you going to ask me that Elliot I mean come on it's not like you really care" I shouted.

"Liv you know I care. I care about you enough to lay with you late at night and bring you coffee and drive you home every day I mean hell Olivia I'd take a bullet for you" he said slowing to a red light and putting his fingers against his temple. "El I-I know that you know I do. I don't know what happened. I just snapped I thought about the cop and prison and I just, just snapped. I'm sorry" I said shocked at my own actions. "Liv you know I wouldn't do anything to hurt you" he said slowly "I just wanna help you I mean your my Livy love, my one true partner".

I pulled my shaky hands apart and put one on his thigh. "I know El" I said.

Maybe I just need to trust him. Midday sunshine shone through the window and into my eyes. I pulled down the visor and sunk in my seat. A few minutes later we rolled to a stop and parked the car. "Liv were here" he said getting out and walking to my door. We got in and he helped me sit at my desk. "Liv El we got a call" Captain said as soon as we sat down.

{Olivia's POV} {Present day}

I walked out into the brutal New York winter. I loved this kind of weather. Snowflakes danced through the sky till they softly landed on the already snow packed ground. I walked to my car and felt the crunch of the flakes under my feet. I pulled my sleeve over my hand and brushed the handle off. I sat down on the bitterly cold leather seats and crammed my key into the ignition. I may love the weather but the cold always got to me after a minute.

The bright lights in the car lit for a second and then went back out. I tried again but the car kept stalling. "Come on" I groaned letting my head fall and rest on the steering wheel. I opened the door and stepped back into the cold. Looks like I'm walking. I started on my seven block climb back home when I noticed the aroma of coffee wafting through the air. I followed the smell till I was opening the door to Coffee Palace. I never noticed it was on my walk home.

"Ahh Olivia. How are you this fine day Mrs. Benson" David yelled as he came from behind the bar and pulled me in for a hug. The people in the cafe looked up for a brief second at me then returned to their phones and books. "Hello Mr. Stabler I'm fine" I blurted out not knowing what to call him. "Oh no no no Olivia you call me David" he said smiling. "Okay" I said sitting down at the coffee bar as he returned to his post behind the counter. I looked up at him and for a second saw the same light in David's eyes that I always couldn't help but find in Elliot's. "What can I help you with, this isn't about Elliot is it" he asked in a concerned sort of way.

"Oh no not at all my car just won't start and I had a rough case today and coffee will just clear my head" I explained. "Coffee will work wonders" he explained. David looked at me with soft eyes. "Your job is so hard" he said putting his hand on top mine and placing my coffee next to my hand. "I know I know but I could never quit" I said picking up my coffee and fixing my jacket. I left the shop with a final hug and fair well bid from David and restarted my walk home. The snow had picked up and landed gingerly on my buttery leather jacket. I felt my phone buzz in my pocket. It was from Elliot.

"Hey I'm getting Chinese. Want some" it read. I typed rapidly to get my frozen fingers out of the cold and said "when do I not?! I'll be home in ten". I started to jog.

"What is a fine lady like you doing out in this weather at this time of night" a man said pulling up next to the side walk and driving at my jogging speed. "Not talking to strangers" I replied not making eye contact. "Look I can give you a lift home" he offered keeping pace. "Okay sir" I said stopping as he did the same "NYPD" I flashed my badge "keep moving and if I see you so much as talk to another woman ever again I'm taking you in". He looked shocked for a moment and then pulled off and didn't stop till he was out of sight. I continued my jog till I reached my stoop. I climbed the steps and finally reached my apartment. I opened the door and the lights were on and I could hear the low mumbling of the TV in the living room.

I walked in and the TV was on low and a blanket was thrown across my couch. Must have left it that way with my rush this morning. I plopped on the couch and texted Elliot to see how far he was. I heard a phone buzz. It was in my kitchen. I placed my hand on my gun and slowly made my way there. I rounded the corner and pointed. "Hey wait whoa slow down Liv I was just putting some beef and broccoli on a plate for you" he said while flinching. "Oh God El how did you get in" I asked putting my gun back in my belt and relaxing my chest. I felt my heart rate slowly fall. "The key you gave me" he said brushing past me and making his way to my couch.

I grabbed my plate and made my way back to the living room. El was cozy on the end of the couch I always sat on but I didn't complain.

{Elliot's POV} {Present day}

She sat down at the edge of the couch still looking a bit flustered that she didn't know I was here. "Sorry I let myself in" I said shoving a fork full of lo main in my mouth. "Really Elliot it's okay" she said picking up the remote and turning off the TV. She turned to me and locked eyes. "Remember that time I told you I tried for adoption and they declined me" she asked softly. I sat up. Was she pregnant?

"Yeah I do what about it" I asked. I knew she could tell that worry was thick in my voice when she put her hand on mine. "Don't worry El I'm not pregnant or anything" she said. I let out a sigh of relief. Then what was it? "Well then what is it" I asked still confused. "Well I'm trying again" she said as her eyes lit up with excitement. "That's great Liv, when will you find out if you were accepted or declined" I asked. She looked down at the table at a letter. "Well the letters right there but I don't want to open it" she said slowly. "How long have you had it" I asked reaching for it. I knew she wanted me to open it for her but I felt the same way she did.

I had this ping of hope in the pit of my stomach that she would have a kid. I mean she's great with them. She deserved one above all people I knew. "It's been about a month" she finally replied. I pulled it open. It felt like I was having another kid and we were just finding out the sex. Slowly I unfolded the letter looking at Olivia who had her thumbnail between her teeth. I read carefully. Absorbing every word. I looked up solemnly after a minute. "Olivia I'm so sorry" I said. Tears formed on the waterline of her eyes and she collapsed into the couch. I set the letter back down on the coffee table and pulled her into me. My shirt would be soaking wet and black from Olivia's makeup but I honestly could care less.

"Elliot don't go home" she sobbed in my shoulder. "How could I ever leave you Livy" I said slowly rocking back and forth. And that's how we stayed. Just rocking back and forth on her couch with Chinese food surrounding us in darkness. The lights from the city cast our shadow on the wall behind us. Steady rain picked up against the sliding door. "Liv you can't know sunshine without a little rain" I said resting my lips on the top of her head. I felt the jump of her chest as she cried silently but hysterically. Eventually it calmed down to a steady rhythm and I laid back and stretched out across the couch with Liv on top of me. Her head nuzzled into my chest and her legs between mine.

{Olivia's POV} {Present day}

I walked up to the NYPD building with Elliot and a coffee in my hand. I'd been doing that a lot lately. I had woken up on top of Elliot and that had been awkward but he didn't seem to mind much. "Let's go up to the lounge and finish our coffee before work" Elliot said opening the door for me. We climbed the steps to the lounge to sit and sip like usual but before we could even sit down Craigen stuck his head out his door and yelled our names.

"Liv Elliot my office. Now" he said. We both gave each other odd looks and walked in. "Liv there's a little girl on the phone. I think you should talk to her" Craigen said handing me his phone. "Hello this is detective Olivia Benson special victims" I said as Craigen motioned for Elliot and him to leave. At first it was silent but then I heard a meek voice. "O-Olivia" they said. "Yes this is Olivia. Can I help you?" I asked. "Well my mommy gave me this number to call in case I ever needed help" she said quietly "she told me to ask for my aunt Olivia". Aunt Olivia? I couldn't worry about that now I had to find her. "Sweet heart can you tell me your name" I asked her. "It's Courtney" she said. "Courtney what" I asked frantically. "I don't know. Olivia I'm scared" she said as he voice wavered.

"Okay okay just stay on the phone with me Courtney. Who's your mommy" I asked. There wasn't a response. I set down the phone for a second and went to the door. "El" I yelled "tap the line and trace the phone" I said slamming the door and running to the phone. "Olivia" I heard her ask. "Yes Courtney I'm here. Courtney I need you to tell me your mommies name" I asked. "My mommies name is Sunshine she said you'd know her" Courtney said. Sunshine. That was Gladys' street name. "Okay Courtney I'm going to give you a number and I want you to call it, it's my cellphone number okay, its 467-555-7450" I said. "Okay I'll call it" she said. "Okay I'm hanging up now" I said. I pulled the phone away from my ear and put it down. My hands were sweaty and clammy. I sat in silent suspense for a moment. I felt everything happening. Saw every detail. My cell phone rung. I shakily grabbed it. "Hello Courtney its Olivia" I said. "Olivia they have me running. I can't see it's so dark" she sobbed.

I walked into the meeting room. I pulled the phone away from my ear. "El its Gladys' daughter" I said. He looked shocked. I put the phone back to my ear. "Courtney what are you running from" I asked. "The men, the ones that took my mommy, they told me not to yell and I did and they told me it was time to play tag and that I had a five minute head start and I'm hiding in an alley" she said frantically. "Okay Courtney I need you to do something for me okay, I need you to look at the street you're on, this is important" I said.

"Okay it's um it looks like East Seventeenth Street" she said rapidly. I heard her breathing heavily.

"Okay Courtney stay on the phone with me. I'm coming" I said grabbing my jacket. "Please hurry" she said breathlessly. "I am Courtney I am just stay with me" I said as I found out the door with Elliot at my heels.

I slammed the door and pulled off hardly giving El enough time to get in the car. The sound of tires peeling out on pavement boomed through the air around us. Every turn was in slow motion. Finally I saw the intersection about twenty feet ahead. Suddenly the sound of distant sirens were heard behind us. Finn must have called for backup. I snapped out of listening to the sirens just in time to watch us pass the street. I slammed on the breaks and spun the wheel as hard as I could as we did a half doughnut and people swerved around us. "Liv" I heard Elliot yell as I gunned it to Seventeenth Street. I made the hard right turn and the back end of the car swung around. Elliot reached for the handle above the door to steady himself.

That's when I saw her. An innocent little girl ran out of an alley. Her frayed jeans long enough for her to trip over them as she stumbled. I pulled up a little farther in front of her and launched out of the car as Elliot did the same. I ran in front of her and scooped her into my arms. "Courtney" I said as she cried hysterically "it's okay". "Olivia I can't breathe. Their coming for me and now they'll get you" she said. Her petite body frame crumbled against me as she collapsed into my chest. "I won't let them touch you" I whispered in her ear as I rocked her back and forth. I picked her up and walked to the passenger's seat of the squad car. She couldn't weigh more than thirty pounds and I could feel her heart beat thump against my stomach through her thin rib cage. Her tiny fingers clutched onto on of mine. Everything about her was small.

Her thick wavy brown hair cascaded around her face and onto me. She shook in my arms. That's when he back window -

{Elliot's POV} {Present}

I watched Olivia scoop Courtney up and run to the car. I turned around, blood boiling, and saw two men whip around the turn and gunning off. Right into the line of cops. Not so smart. I aimed my gun to shoot there tires and that's when it hit me. Heat enveloped my side and I felt my body slowly hit the ground. Agonizing pain waved over my body every second, every breath, and every excruciating movement. Spasms of shaking blanked my body.

Then I heard her. Olivia's voice poured out in a shrill scream of my name. It pierced the air, and for a second, just knowing she was there relieved my pain. "Officer down. My partners been shot. I need an ambulance on East Seventeenth Street" she said into her radio as she ran over to me. I heard her knees hit the pavement next to me. "Please hurry" she whispered to herself. She hovered over my then grabbed my hand. "God Damn it Elliot Stabler you don't give up on me now. Don't you do it" she said to me in panic. "Liv I-I could never" I said stopping to take a break to be able to breath "never give up on you" I said as I squeezed her hand. But I felt my eyes weighing down. I felt myself slipping.

"No no no Elliot don't do this" she said as she ripped off her jacket. I felt her press it to my side to slow the bleeding. "Liv don't ruin your jacket" I said staggered. "Elliot you've got to be kidding me" she said sobbing. "It can't end like this" she yelled. She breathlessly cried. "Oli-" I tried to choke out. "Elliot stop talking please" she said trying to think about what to do next. How to save my life.

I painfully picked up my hand and touched my middle and ring finger to the bottom of my palm making the 'I love you' sign. She looked up and I let my hand fall. "I love you too" she said smiling as her tears fell off her face and onto mine. I caved in and let my eyes fall shut as I heard the ambulances approach. "Elliot? Elliot no" I heard Liv yell. Her hand stayed tightly gripped around mine as the EMT's came.

{Olivia's POV} {The shooting}

The glass shattered and landed on Courtney and me like rain on the pavement. Had Elliot shot the perps? I sat Courtney on the driver's side which was surprisingly glass free. I snatched the keys and placed my hand on my gun in case the other one was on the run. I got out of the car and spun around to see Elliot. Laid limp and helpless in the middle of the road. "Elliot" I screamed as I began to run at my fallen partner. "Officer down. My partners been shot. I need an ambulance on East Seventeenth street" I screamed into my radio as I ran what felt like a mile but was really only what looked like ten feet. Once I reached him I dropped to my knees, hitting them on the pavement that brought up a familiar sting of the wintery spring we were having. The air was dry and seemed to choke me as the wind tore like rapids in every direction around us. "Please hurry" I whispered to myself half hoping that the EMT's would somehow hear me, as if my voice could be carried by the wind to them.

I didn't want to touch him because it may hurt him but I had to hold his hand. He winced as my touch but clenched onto my hand. "God Damn it Elliot Stabler you don't give up on me now. Don't you do it" I said pushing him to hold his eyes open just a little longer. "Liv I-I could never" he said in a hoarse voice, pausing briefly for breath, then continued "never give up on you". As he said it he squeezed my hand and his eyes struggled to flutter open. Blood slowly trickled out his mouth.

Then his eyes shut again. My heart beat raised to a million times faster and tears streamed from my face, soaking Elliot shirt, and I knew I looked a mess but honestly who the hell cared anymore. I had to do something while the ambulances came. "No no no Elliot don't do this" I said ripping off my jacket. I pressed it to his side and he folded up in pain. "Oli-" he tried to choke out which only made the blood stream out of his mouth more.

"Elliot stop talking please" I said in panic. Trying to think. I looked up and his hand was raised up and he was making the 'I love you' sign. My heart just melted. His eyes were open again. "I love you too Elliot" I said crying and leaning in to kiss his forehead. It can't end like this. Not without one last real kiss. I heard the sirens and looked up. I looked back down and Elliot's eyes we're again shut. "Elliot? Elliot no" I said gripping his hand harder.

The EMT's came over. "I'm riding in the ambulance with him" I said persistently. No one seemed to protest and loaded him in.

{Elliot's POV} {Present}

I couldn't answer her, as hard as I tried. I felt and heard her. Only I saw nothing. There was no 'flash of my life before my eyes' or out of body experience. Only darkness and echoes of every vivid sound. But mainly I heard Olivia and that's what I focused on. I heard faint beeps and shouts of orders and status updates.

My vision got spotty like I shut my eyes and looked up at the sun and then I could open them. "He opened his eyes" Olivia shouted as I opened them.

I felt fingers firmly on my wrist. "His pulse is stronger" yelled an EMT. "Were only two minutes out" the driver shouted. "Detective what's his blood type" an EMT asked Olivia. "A positive" she shouted. "Tell them to have A positive ready on site" the EMT yelled to the radio dispatch. "Hang in there El" Olivia said to me. I was pushing. The darkness was so empty and vast, and going back there would mean I wasn't with Olivia.

We rounded a turn and the familiar glow of the red EMERGENCY lights on the side of the building peaked through the window. The gently, but swiftly, unloaded me and wheeled me in. Olivia's hand hadn't left mine yet.

{Olivia's POV} {Present}

"Detective we have to take him in to emergency surgery. I'm sorry but you have to wait in the waiting room" the doctor said as they wheeled him back. Those simple words shattered my whole world. "O-okay" I sputtered out as I finally let go of his hand. Mine was cold, clammy, and empty. I stood in the hall to collect myself. I must have been standing there a while because a janitor asked me if I knew where the waiting room was or if I needed directions. "Um no thank you" I said turning to find an empty seat. I pulled out my phone. Thirty six misses calls. Damn it. I called back Craigen first. "Olivia" he said when he answered in a relived but tense voice. My end stayed silent. "Olivia what hospital are you at" Craigen asked. "I'm um" I paused "were at Mercy" I said taking deep breaths to contain myself. "We'll be there in a second" Craigen said dropping the line.

{Cravens POV} {Present}

"Was that Olivia Cap" Fin asked. "Yeah. There at Mercy" I said to the worried SVU family. "How's Elliot" Munch asked. "Let's go find out" I said grabbing my keys and leading the pack out the door.

{Olivia's POV} {Present}

The family had all filed into the waiting room and we sat in silence. Alex had walked in and without saying a word gripped my hand and stole the seat next to me. A doctor walked out. "Mrs. Benson" she asked. I stood up and walked towards her. Fear building up with every step I took. "Yes" I said meekly. "Your partner will be fine. Lucky he had you on that ambulance with him and you knew his blood type. If we hadn't had it ready on cite he may have bled out" she said with a smile. I ocean of relief dumped on me. "When can we see him" Craigen asked eagerly. "Well he's still in ICU but one of you can go up and stay the night with him in case he wakes up" she said solemnly.

All eyes automatically fell on me. "Craigen really you can-" I started but Craigen was already cutting me off. "No Olivia go now, he needs you" he said placing his hand on my shoulder. "Okay" I said. I turned to the doctor with a bright face. "Follow me" she said opening the door.

The air felt sterile against the Goosebumps on my arms.

We rounded several turns before finally reaching his room. She walked in but I stayed cemented to the floor, looking out at a shell of Elliot. "You can come in Mrs. Benson" the doctor encouragingly said. "I-I know" I said taking small steps into the room.

{Elliot's POV} {Present}

I heard her. Distant but there. She was talking with another woman. "I'll let you be" said the other unfamiliar woman. Footsteps. Nothing else but the sound of rain hitting the window. "Hey El, I-I know you can't talk but I'm here. For you" she said. She touched my hand. I tried and let out a moan. "El-El can you hear me" she asked. I moved my finger. "El I know you can hear me, I love you El" she said.

{Olivia's POV} {Present}

I knew he could hear me. I sat down. I wish he could talk. I wish I could hear his lovely voice in reply even if it was something annoyingly witty or even if it was... I couldn't think that way.

Elliot is the reason I breathe. The reason I never stop. The reason I laugh. The reason I cry. The reason I try. He just the reason.

Always has been. Always will be.

{Olivia's POV} {The next night}

"How well do you really know me" Elliot said resting back into bed. I scooted towards the end of the bed and stuck my fingers through the holes in his blanket and started. "Um let's see. You don't trust anyone who wears draw string pants, you don't sleep with a shirt on because you feel constrained, you like rainy days with Chinese food, you leave silly stupid cute notes on my desk, you were a carrot in a thanks giving day pageant as a kid-" I said as he cut me off even though it was getting hard to talk with how hard I was laughing. "Hey how'd you know that one" he said laughing. "When I went to talk to your mom" I said letting a giggle escape my lips. I could feel myself blushing.

"Fair enough" he said still laughing. I composed myself then asked "well how well do you know me". "Oh where do I begin, let's see; you drink your coffee black as night, you hate being called Mrs. Benson because it makes you feel like a kindergarten teacher, you want kids, you know every word, and beat, to Faithfully by Journey, and you get tipsy quicker than the average girl" he said "I could keep going". "No it's even" I said.

There was a knock at the door. It slowly opened. "Olivia" I heard Fin say "you have a visitor". The door swung open. "Olivia" Courtney yelled as she ran towards me. I got up off the bed and picked her up. "Hey Courtney! Are you okay" I asked setting her in a chair and looking her over. "Yeah! Your friend Alex got me cloths and I stayed with Fin till I could come here" she said excitedly.

"Thank you Fin" I said looking up as I held the fragile girl. "I can stay here with you right" Courtney asked pulling back with big doe eyes. "Um I'm sure you can" I said standing up and resting her on my hip. "How about you sit with my friend Elliot while I go talk to Fin" I said walking back over to the bed and setting her down. "Okay Olivia but come back quick" she called after me as I walked out.

"Fin have you guys found Gladys yet" I asked resting against the cold wall. His face seemed to drop and darken. "Yeah we found her" he said. That's all he said. There was no "she's okay" or "she's ready to take Courtney back and get her life together again". I put my hand over my mouth and started to rock back and forth. "Olivia she was in with all the wrong people and..." He trailed off. I regained myself. "So what about Courtney" I asked.

There was a hope. It was stinging in the back of my chest. It pinched at my eyes and captured my breath. It made my heart pound a million miles a minute. It's made my skin tight and my stomach flop. It was the hope that Courtney could be mine.

"Olivia the papers she signed giving you custody made you legally her guardian if anything happened to Gladys"

{Elliot's POV} {Present}

"So Courtney you like my partner Olivia" I asked. Her petite face stared up at me. "Yeah I love Olivia. She's going to be my mommy. That's what Fin told me" she paused for a minute "are you, are you going to be my daddy? Are you Olivia's husband"? I could tell I was smiling wider than Courtney when she saw Olivia. "Um no I'm not Olivia's husband" I said laughing.

The door opened. "Olivia" Courtney yelled jumping up off of the bed and running into Olivia's embrace. She looked flawless as she spun around with Courtney and her arms. I couldn't help but notice the way her hair laid on her shoulders when she stopped. The way her smile literally lit up the room. Olivia Marie Benson was impossible to get over.

"El why are you staring at me" Olivia said breaking me of my thoughts. "I'm uh sorry" I said trying to regain myself in her presence which I always found almost impossible. "Well if you were listening I was saying me and Courtney are going to run to my place to get clothes and then come back and stay the night" she said with that smile she seems to always wear, even in the worst of times.

"Yeah that sounds great" I said even though it didn't. I didn't want Olivia to leave my room. I didn't want Olivia to leave it all. But I held back. I watched as her and Courtney left the room, thinking about how long it might take, maybe only fifteen minutes. Lately I found myself hoping to be Courtney's dad. Kathy and I had screwed up with every one of our kids but maybe Olivia and I can make it work. No Olivia and I could make it work Courtney was our daughter.

I sat in silence for a while until I finally drifted off to sleep only hoping I could dream about Olivia.

{Olivia's POV} {Present}

"Do you want to stop and get food" I asked anxious little girl in the back of my car. Thank God Fin had a car seat. "Yeah Olivia that sounds great" she said excitedly. "Well what do you want? I mean we can go anywhere you like" I said as I went through all the close take-out places in my head. "What do you like Olivia? I like whatever you like" she said sweetly. She was an angle. "I really love Chinese and there's this place El and I always go to called Hong Kong III if you want to go" I said hoping she would. I'd been craving Chinese for a while now.

"I wanna try it" she said like a little kid wanting a candy bar. "Olivia I have a question" she said meekly. "Shoot" I said not knowing what was coming. "Fin said that you would be my mommy so... can I call you that" she asked wanting to. I know she did. The last time I was called mommy Calvin was being taken from me. But I couldn't think about that right now. "Yes of course you can. Do you know why you're calling me mommy" I asked hoping she didn't. "Well my other mommy told me I would soon enough. But you're my mommy now so I can be happy. I'll see her later" she said ending the sentence with the sound of hope.

"Mommy I have one more question" she said cocking her head to the side as her mop of hair fell. Now I really didn't know what to expect. I kind of saw the last one coming but I didn't know what this one will could be. "Elliott said he wasn't your husband but will he be my daddy. I really like him" she said smiling wide. "Wow I leave you two and a room for five minutes of your best friends" I said cocking my eye brow "I'm sure he'd love to be. How about you ask him when we get back" I suggested. Her eyes brightened up and she got really giddy. "That's a great idea mommy" she said. "Okay were here Chinese Palace here we come" I said getting out of the car to unbuckle her.

We walked in and I watch her eyes widen as she looked around the tiny place yet she was still so amazed. Tiny paper dragons were hanging from the ceiling as we walked up to the counter. "Ahh Olivia our most beloved customer right on time. And who is this little girl" Mr. Wu said motioning towards Courtney. "This is Courtney my daughter" I said placing my hand on her shoulder. "Well since Olivia brought her daughter the food is on us so what'll it be" Mr. Wu asked. "I want rice" Courtney said speaking for the first time since we've been in the restaurant. "And I'll have two large boxes of shrimp lo mein and two egg rolls" I said.

"Okay well it should only be about ten minutes so go ahead and sit down will call you right back" Mr. With said. "Actually I have to run about five minutes up the street to grab some clothes so I'll be right back to pick it up" I said taking my hand off the counter and placing it in Courtney's hand as we walked out.

We ran up to my place grabbed a few things put them in a bag I made sure I had my charger and we left. We picked up the Chinese and quickly made our way back to the hospital. I knew Elliott was impatiently waiting.

I watch is Courtney struggled to push up in the hospital door but eventually made it. "Hey hey hey we're back and we brought food" I said setting a box of Lo mein and an egg roll in front of Elliott. His eyes got wide as he reached for the plastic fork. "Did anyone ever tell you, Olivia Benson, you are a goddess" he said. "Not for food they didn't" I said sitting down next to Courtney and handing her rice and a spoon. "This is our first dinner as a family" Courtney suddenly said "oh yeah Elliot that reminds me I've a question for you. Will you be my daddy" she said smiling sweetly.

"Courtney Anne I would love too" he said before he shoved a fork full of Lo main in his face.

{Elliot's POV} {Present}

I woke up to a single light beam shining through the blinds and falling on my eyes. My left hand gripped Olivia's while my right arm was the wrapped around the small frail shoulders of Courtney. She had climbed into my bed and cuddled into my side in the middle of the night like Eli used to do. She soon stirred awake. "Good morning sunshine" I said looking into her chocolate eyes that for some reason even though she was not biologically related to Olivia it seemed like she was. She had the same brightness that hit the back of her eyes and peeked out whenever she was happy and the same familiar gloss that fell over when she was sad. "Good morning daddy" she said smiling brightly.

"Yeah good morning daddy" Olivia said teasing. Oh my God she drove me up a wall. Daddy? Didn't she know that would make me insane? "Mommy you're up" Courtney said jumping out of bed and falling in her lap. "Yeah mommy you're up" I said watching her roll her eyes and laugh her crazy obnoxious laugh. "What are you say I run down and get us some breakfast and I'll be right back you stay here with Elliot" Olivia said standing up and setting Courtney on the end of the bed. "It's daddy" Courtney said matter-of-factly. "Okay you stay here with daddy and I'll be back with food" Olivia said smiling and walking out.

Courtney turned to me and laid her head on my chest. "Daddy do you think me, you, and mommy can watch a movie today" Courtney asked. "Well I think I go home today so after breakfast maybe we can even go see a play on broad way" I said excitedly hoping we could.

"Oh my god that would be awesome" Courtney practically yelled. There was a knock at the door. "Hello Mr. Stabler I'm Dr. Denny and I'm here to assess you to make sure you can go home" a tall slender woman stated. "Yeah sure what do you need" I asked. "Well your nurse said you've been up and walking, eating food properly, and using the bathroom regularly is that all true" she asked. "Yes it is" I said hoping that I would be able to go home today. "Well that all sounds fabulous. You will have time to eat breakfast and get your stuff together and then you'll be discharged" she said "and your file says you have no known residence right now. Can you give us a resident you'll be staying at for your medical billing" she asked.

"Yes send my bills to my girlfriend Olivia Benson's house at 909th on 12th St" I said as Courtney looked up at me. "Is that mommy's house" Courtney asked. "That's our house" I said hugging her tightly.

{Olivia's POV} {Present}

I walked in to see Elliot's doctor and Elliott hugging Courtney tighter than ever. "What is it what's wrong" I asked frantically as I set down the breakfast and ran over to Elliot and Courtney. "Nothing's wrong, Miss. Benson, I presume I'm just telling your boyfriend that he can be discharged now" his Dr. said. "Oh Thank God" I said with relief taking my voice. The doctor walked out.

"Mommy mommy daddy said we can go see Broadway today can we can we" Courtney asked eagerly as she took a bite of her eggs. "Yes of course we can and I know just what we'll see. The Little Mermaid is out" I said turning to a non-excited Elliot. "Really Liv. The Little Mermaid" he said annoyed. "Yes daddy The Little Mermaid" Courtney said punching his arm.

"Okay okay you two now eat so we can get going" I said shoving a spoonful of cornflakes in my mouth.

{Elliot's POV} {A few hours later after the play}

"So did you like it Court" I asked looking down for little girl that had her hands intertwined with Olivia's in between her and I. "Yes daddy I loved it. Where are we going now" she asked either one of us. "Home you need some sleep it's practically ten o'clock at night" Olivia said hailing a cab. We hailed the cab, put the partition up, and rode the rest of the way home hoping Courtney might fall asleep on the ride there. Courtney snuggle her face and Olivia's chest and her breath slowly fell as she drifted off to sleep. When we got there I took her out of Olivia's lap and brought her upstairs into the extra room in Olivia's apartment. I walked into Olivia's room. She was sitting gingerly on the end of her bed putting her cloths back into her dresser before she went to sleep. "Hey Liv I just wanted to let you know Courtney's asleep and I was going to ask if I could borrow pillow so I can crash on the couch" I said walking in to grab a pillow. "El I couldn't ask you to sleep on the couch you just got out of the hospital" she said. The dull lamp casted a glow on her face that made her look flawless. "Well I'm not letting you sleep on the couch this is your house Olivia" I demanded softly. "El I have a question" she said turning to me and crossing her legs. "Yeah anything Liv" I said sitting down the top of her bed. "Did you tell the doctor I was your girlfriend or did her just inferred" she asked concerned. "I told her" I said quickly looking down.

Olivia put her hand on my thigh. "El that's perfectly fine with me. Actually it's more than fine it's all I wanted" she said picking up my face with her other hand. She leaned in and slowly met her lips with mine. Her powdery touch sent chills all over my body. I put my hand on the back of her neck and one on her hip.

She pulled over on top of me and straddled me putting her hands on my shoulders to support yourself. "Elliot sleep in my room tonight and every night after that" she said pulling away catching her breath. I didn't even say a word I just pulled her back in for a kiss and we laid there like that the rest of the night.

{Olivia's POV} {Present}

I woke up and looked at the clock. It was two in the morning and I was still laying on top of Elliot. Ever so carefully I shifted off him and laid next to him putting my head on his chest and my shoulder underneath his arm. Elliot woke up and turned to me. "Liv why are you up" he asked. "I just woke up I don't know" I said. I had a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach that crept up my throat. "I'm going to go check on Courtney" I said getting up. I quietly padded down the short hallway to Courtney's room.

I carefully opened the door and looked at her peacefully sleeping with the night light we bought at the play casting shadows of mermaids and fish on the walls around her. His hair engulfed her face and her body was twisted around the sheets.

Two arms wrapped around my waist and pulled me into there's. I could tell by the smell and body build it was Elliot. "Liv why don't we get some sleep and I'll check on her in an hour" he said calmly into my ear. "Okay okay" I said as he pulled me and walked behind me the entire way down the hall until we got to my room. We both flopped onto the bed and pulled ourselves up and Elliot embraced me and pulled me in. His strong frame holding mine felt so perfect. Like to puzzle pieces that just fit together. I still couldn't sleep so I rolled over looking see if Elliot could and he couldn't either. I could tell by his furrowed brow and tensed grip on me.

I rolled over to face him as our bodies pressed together. "El what's wrong I can tell you're not okay" I said into his chest as he caressed me. His hands resting on my lower hips. "I don't like you stressed. You worrying about Courtney worries me" he said pulling me and even though I believed it was impossible for us to get any closer. "Elliot don't worry about me. I'm fine. If you worry about me I worry about you and then you worry about me more. It will be one giant stress loop. Stress inception" I said giggling. "okay okay I won't worry. But Olivia what does this all mean" he said relaxing. "What does what all mean" I asked confused. "You in my arms, us creeping down the hallway to check on a little girl together, the kiss Olivia what does it all mean" he asked again.

"It means that over the past twelve years I've been falling stupidly in love with you. It means that we have a family and means that were stronger than ever. It means that we'll never be broken up. It means that I love you and it means that we need to be in the now or everything could go wrong and I don't want that Elliot. Everything is just getting right with you. Everything" I said as I kissed his four head. "Now get some sleep and wake up in an hour to check on our daughter. I love you Elliot Stabler now go to bed" I said falling into his chest as I slowly fell sleep.

"I love you too Olivia Benson now to go to bed" he said kissing my four head and then laying his head against mine as we both drifted off to sleep together hoping we would dream about each other.


	2. Chapter 2

{Olivia's POV} {Present}

I woke up to an empty bed. Had it all been a dream? Were Elliot and Courtney and I all just one big mixed up family that I wanted so desperately I dreamt about it? Then I heard her the familiar ringing of Courtney's adorable voice as Elliot was talking with her. "What do you want for breakfast baby doll" I heard muffled through the thick walls of my New York apartment. My life couldn't get any more perfect than it already was. I threw the covers off me and stumbled out our bedroom door hoping that maybe just maybe Elliot was making us breakfast because I was not in the mood to cook.

"Good morning my Livy love how are you feeling today" was what I was greeted with as I entered the kitchen along with the shrill scream of Courtney as she yelled "mommy". "I'm fabulous. So what will it be Chef Daddy" I asked sarcastically. "Pancakes the princess has requested pancakes" he said pulling me in for a hug.

Out of impulse I kissed him. This was too perfect. I scooped up Courtney. "Hey baby girl. So I was thinking since you'll be registered in school tomorrow how about you come to work with daddy and me today" I said kissing her fore head. "Mommy I would love that" she said excitedly. "Okay okay now you both sit down and prepare for the most amazing pancakes you've ever had in your life" El said giving us both plates.

We quickly ate our pancakes and threw on some work cloths and headed out the door. "Hey Court I think you need more cloths so what do you think about mommy and I taking you shopping later" Elliot asked as we all bounced down our stoop together. "Yes please" Courtney said sweetly. We took my car since it already had the seat in it. Elliot stopped and grabbed him and I some coffee and before I knew it we were sitting at my desk in the precinct. "Olivia Elliot my office. Now" I heard Crain say. "Okay sit right here babe I'll be right back" I said patting Courtney's leg as she drew on every post it note she could find. "Okay mama" she chirped.

Elliot and I both rose at the same time and slowly but surely made our way to Cragin's office. "Is that Courtney out there? Why is she here" he asked demandingly. "I, well we, have legal custody of her and she doesn't start school until tomorrow sir so we didn't get a babysitter in time and she need to come here with us" I said frantically. "Olivia Olivia okay I understand but this means you two are on desk duty today do you understand me" Crain said. "Yes sir" Elliot and I said in union.

We walked back out to our desks. "Good news Courtney where on desk duty which means we can go to lunch today and we'll spend a ton of time together" I said sitting down taking another sip of my coffee. Elliot was smiling ear to ear. "Ohh lunch what you think we'll have mommy" Courtney asked. She got so excited about the little things we did together. "How about we go to the nice Italian place you've always wanted to try down the street Olivia" Elliot suggested. But that place was so expensive I couldn't ask him to do that. Maybe on a date night. "That's too much El. Maybe later just is on a date night. How about we go get some pizza. I know really good place down the street" I said watching Courtney's face light up. "Well then pizza it is" Elliot said shrugging his shoulders.

"A date night" Munch said looking a little shocked. "El and Olivia gettin a little close are they" Fin said. I threw him my classic shut up before I kill you look while Elliot just laughed. "Yes you monkeys a date night now hop off Olivia's back" he said through his tantrum of laughter. This just seemed to melt the stress off his face and give his dark blue eyes relaxation for a minute and make them like a crystal blue. The worry lines that crowded his face last night as we talked had vanished by morning just because of my words and I knew we were meant to be together.

After about a half an hour of strenuous desk work we finally left for pizza and shopping. The pizza shop we went to had pizza so big we all three split one piece since considerably I wasn't that hungry. "So where do you want to shopping? And we can go anywhere. It's whatever you want Courtney and spring is coming up just remember that" Elliot said. "Can we go to the children's place? My other mommy used to tell me that that place is really nice and one day she would take me but her never did" she said as she got a frown on her face. "Yes we can and I know really good ice cream place we can stop at on our way there" Elliot said as he quickly tried to change her mood and it worked. She had a smiling face instantly. "Thank you daddy I love you" she said grabbing his hand.

"I love you too baby doll" he said squeezing it in return. "Well this is good because I've been craving some strawberry ice cream" I said.

{Elliot's POV} {Present}

We got home and I went into the bedroom change as Olivia put away Courtney's new clothes. She got about fifteen dresses. Women and clothes. I just don't get it. But Olivia insisted and I found myself wanting to please her more and more every day which I didn't think was humanly possible. She walked back in.

"Gonna find my baby. Gonna hold her tight. Gonna get some afternoon delight" I sang in her ear as I wrapped her in my arms. "Oh are you now El" she said as she slowly massaged her way down my back. "Benson you drive me crazy you know that" I said returning the favor. "Okay babe I need a shower" she said pulling away and walking past me then smacking my butt. "Are you jutting your hips out on purpose" I asked as I just stared. She rounded the corner of the bath room door and cut her eyes at me making her look ten times sexier. She slowly put up her finger and motioned for me to follow. "You don't have to tell me twice" I said following her and unbuttoning my shirt at the same time.

When I entered the door frame she was shimmying her shirt off. "You know Liv this is better than that time I was undercover cause no one is forcing you out. Now if only you had that southern accent again" I said hoping she'd take the hint. "Oh well then sir I just might" she said laying it on thick. She finished undressing and got in the shower and I quickly followed suit. The steam fill the space where air once was and Olivia wrapped her arms around me. We stood there and let the water run over us. "I don't know what I was so scared of. This is perfect" she said turning to grab shampoo. The lust burned off of me like heat off a wildfire. She turned around to face me and there was a knock at the door.

"Mommy? Daddy?" Courtney said meekly. "I'll be right out baby" I said looking at Olivia. "I'll be right back" I said as I got out. I walked out with a towel and Courtney was sitting on the floor next to the door. She was fast asleep. I scooped her up and carried her to her room, laying her down under her blanket and flicking on her Little Mermaid night light. She stirred a little and partially opened her eyes. "Goodnight Daddy I love you" she said resting her head back into her pillow and closing her eyes. "I love you too baby girl" I said kissing her forehead then quietly shutting the door.

I made my way back to our room. I walked in and Olivia was sitting on the bed in this silk robe that hugged her perfectly. She turned and looked at me with her solemn brown eyes that melted me. "Elliot are we doing the right thing" she said as I lowered myself down next to her on the bed. "Liv you said it yourself. This is perfect. What could we possibly be doing wrong" I asked almost worried by Olivia's shocking behavior. I rubbed my thumb across her four head. "You're right" she said falling into my shoulder. "Let's just lay together and be happy before work tomorrow" I said.

{Olivia's POV} {Present}

I thought for a second. "No let's do more than lay cause this is the last night we have before our life gets crazy again" I said lifting my head off of him and looking him in the eyes. "Liv are you sure" he asked. I was genuinely surprised by him. "Yes I'm sure" I said pushing him back and pulling myself on top of him. Slowly he leaned in and kissed me. He made his way down my neck and to my collar bones.

He worked his hands around my body as if he was exploring ever crevice. He came back up to my lips and slowly ran his tongue across my bottom lip. I slowly opened my mouth and let him in. He took off his towel and threw it to the ground as our hot damp bodies pressed together. I felt like my body was on fire from the feeling of him on top of me but I loved it.

I woke up and turned to Elliot who was already up and getting dressed. He was shirtless as he turned around to the closet to grab a shirt. "Elliot your back! Did I do that? Oh my god I am so sorry" I said looking at his back. It looked like Freddy Krueger attacked him in his sleep. "Liv it's no big deal" he said smiling "Courtney is up and getting breakfast but I don't know how to do hair so you might want to get up". I quickly jumped out of bed and headed for the door. "Oh and Liv some cloths might be a good idea" he said smirking. "Elliot" said as he tossed me my robe.

I walked out to the kitchen and Courtney was sitting at the bar eating fruit loops and watching SpongeBob. "Okay so I can't do much with hair so how about today we just pull your bangs back with a bobby pin" I said. She jumped not knowing I was behind her. "Oh my goodness mommy" she yelled. I couldn't help but laugh. "That sounds good" she said once she calmed down.

I pulled her bangs back and went to go change while she picked out a dress with Elliot. She came back out with her book bag and all ready to leave. Her face was bright. "Ready for school" I said taking her hand as we walked down the steps. "Yes mama I am" she said smiling.

We dropped Courtney off at school grudgingly and made our way to work hand in hand. We walked in and Fin stopped us right away.

"You guys have a case and you'll never guess where" he said sounding a bit excited. "Well what is it" Elliot asked.

"It's a girl at St. John's church and she's saying the priest raped her" he said. "Okay tell Cragen were heading there now" I said as Elliot and I both turned around and headed back out the door.

We pulled up to St. John's church and I headed inside while Elliot stuck back to talk to CSU. I saw a young girl sitting at the end of a pew. She looked about fifteen or sixteen and her short black hair stopped at her shoulders and freckles were lined along her pale cheeks and nose. A girl that was about her age held her close. "Hi I'm detective Olivia Benson, I'm with the special victims unit, what's your name"

I asked as I approached her. She looked up at me as makeup ran down her face. "My names Jessica Muller and this is my friend Abby" she said motioning to the girl sitting next to her. "Okay Jessica I'm going to ask you a few questions okay" I asked. "Okay" she said grabbing Abby's hand.

"Are you willing to do a rape kit to prove that priest Donald raped you" I asked. "No why do I have to do that when I know it was priest Donald" she said letting go of Abby's hand. "Well it would just make your case stronger but if you'd rather not we have to go down to the precinct and get your statement along with priest Donald" I said standing up. "Okay but can Abby come" she asked. "Yes but she can't be in the room with you" I said as she and Abby stood up to follow me to the squad car. Elliot already had the priest in another car headed to the precinct. "Hey I'll talk to the girl while you talk to the priest I said as we got in the car.

We got to the precinct and split up. "Abby you can sit at my desk while I talk to Jessica in another room" I said turning to the tall blonde girl attached to Jessica at the hip. "Be strong Jess" she said hugging her before she walked to sit at my desk. I opened the door for Jessica and she walked in a sat in the chair gingerly. "Okay Jessica I need you to tell me exactly what happened" I said grabbing my notepad. "Me and my mom got St. John's this morning I had to go to the bathroom so I walked around pack because the first bathroom was full and the priest stuck his foot in the door and came in and told me to take my blouse off so I did what he said because I thought he was going to hurt me and then he told me to take my pants up and at first I didn't want to but he held me against the toilet and told me I'd die if I didn't so I did and he raped me" she said with tears streaming down her face. "Okay. Can I get you some water" I asked. "Yes please" she said whipping the tears and make up off her face.

I walked out to get her the water and Abby was at the door. "Detective Benson I have something to tell you" she said gripping the bracelet around her skinny wrist.

{Elliot's POV} {Present}

"So you're telling me that girl Jessica went and cried wolf and you're the wolf she blamed" I asked looking at him intensely. "Yes I am. As a priest I am bound not to lie and I will keep that promise I made to God" he said. The man was very old. Any fifteen year old girl could overtake him and run if they wanted to. There was a knock on the two way glass. Probably Olivia. I got up and looked at the poor old man on the other side of the table.

"Hey Liv what is it" I asked as I shut the door and turned to her. "Well Jessica's friend Abby had a totally different story as to what went down at the church" she said happy that she knew more than I did. "Well what did she tell you? Did you get the statement" I asked.

"Yes I did with Alex next to me which verifies it because she didn't ask for her attorney and she said she saw Jessica sneak back behind the pulpit where there's a separate room and she noted she been doing this for a while so she followed her back and she heard some things but she wasn't sure who it was but it wasn't arguing it was well you know what it was and it was Jessica and a man" she said.

"Well let's get every deacon and altar boy from that church before they can leave" I said getting Olivia in the car. We sped down to St. John's to round up all the boys.

"Munch can you interview them while we continue to talk to our priest and Shepard" I asked when we got back to the precinct. "Yeah sure" he said summoning his first victim to the other interview room.

{Olivia's POV} {Present}

I walked back in and sat across from Jessica. "You were gone for a long time" she said sliding her empty cup towards me. "Well Jessica we found out something interesting. You see you didn't go into the bathroom you went into the room behind the pulpit. Now who did you go with us because somebody heard you talking to them" I asked. "What are you talking about" she asked taken back. "You weren't raped. Now what do you have against the priest that you would frame him" I asked.

"I want my lawyer" she said. I got up and walked out while we waited for him to come. "She lawyered up" I said when I saw Elliot and Captain heading towards me.

"When he gets here I want you to grill her. Both of you. We need her to fess up on who he is" Captain said to Elliot and I. "Okay" we said heading in as we saw Jessica's lawyer go into her room. "Okay Jessica" Elliot said as we opened the door "we need you to tell us who you had sex with or we can hold you here for a long time". "Because you know crying rape is a high tolerated felony" I added. "She'd like a deal if she tells you who it was you lower her rate of time in prison" her lawyer said. "Okay how about instead of ten years we give you eight" Alex said as she walked in "that's as low as were going". Jessica leaned over to her lawyer and whispered something probably asking if it was a good idea he nodded he said yes. "Okay I'll take it. It was Deacon Matthew Edwards. He told me to frame him it had to get rid of him. He said he needed the job. He needed to be the priest and it would give him, it would give him more respect, and and he said if I had sex with him it was the only way it would happen" she said quickly. "Book her and book him and let the priest go" Alex said. A cop came in and escorted the deacon and Jessica out.


End file.
